Characteristics of linguistics

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF LINGUISTICS

1.1           Characteristics of Linguists

a.       Social Habits

Linguists are known to congregate over beer and ketchup. After the consumption of enough beer (and perhaps cheap wine from jugs), they begin a ritual called the “intellectual orgy”. If they are particularly bold, they will try to pass this ritual off as a homework assignment.

b.      Languages Studied

All linguists have studied at least ten languages and fluent in at least seven. These often include Latin and Ancient Greek, accompanied by two Romance languages, Japanese, Russian, and four dying languages (with minimal variation from linguist to linguist). Linguists refuse to study any signed languages, because everyone knows that signed languages are not real languages. When you meet linguists for the first time, you should ask them which languages they can speak. If they name less than five or give a speech about how “Linguists are not necessarily polyglots”, you will know that they are not true linguists. You should avoid these people, or it may cost you your life.

c.       Careers

As you might expect, linguists never have careers. Seriously, what can you do with a degree in linguistics?

d.      Linguists and Homosexuality

    Studies have shown that 92% of male linguists are gay.

1.2           Characteristics of Language

a.       Language Is Sound

The statement that language is sound  may appear obvious, since the most common experience all men have of language is in speaking and listening to it. But this statement is meant to point out that the sounds of language have primacy over their representation in writing. While the writing systems of languages have their systeatic aspects, the linguist secondary to the basic phenomenon of speech.

b.      Language Is Meaningful

The reason the linguist, or anyone else, is interested in studying of language is that the sound produced in speech are connected with almost everyfact of human life and communication.

c.       Languages Is Arbitrary

When we say that languages is arbitrary we are simply pointing out the condition required for the existence of more than one language. That there be no direct, neccesary connection between the nature of the things or ideas language deals with and the linguistic mits or combinations by which these things or ideas are expressed.

d.      Languages Is Conventional

An important consequence of the conventional nature of language is that we can be confident that an accurate description of this speech o a single representative speaker will be applicable to be speech haits of others in the same community.

e.       Languages Is Creative

By imaginative manipulation of the standard interlocking of the phonological, grammatical, and lexical systems poet and creative writers of speakers can extend our awareness of possible relations among things. In this way they may be said to create a new world for us through language.

f.        Languages are Unique

Since languages are arbitrary systematic networks of contras, each languages must deservedly be considered unique. For example, two languages may differ in the number of parts of speech, or may require quite different combinations of these parts, even though the number is the same. For such reasons we have new patterns to learn in the study of foreign languages.